Exploring Side Quests
What type of shopper are you? Are you the type of person who makes a mental or written list, heads to the mall, makes your way through your checklist as efficiently as possible, and then heads back home as soon as you're done? Or are you the person who gets to the mall, enters random shop stalls because something caught your eye, and then what could have been an hour affair now takes twice the amount of time?
I'm more of the former. As soon as I get into the mall, I want to leave. And if you're anything like me, you just know that going shopping with someone in the latter category is going to be hell. You'll get dragged along for a ride you hoped would be shorter. But here's the thing, while I think my methods are far more efficient and get the job done, there are benefits to the latter.
The person who wanders around the mall on what seems like an aimless mission almost always knows where to find that peculiar item you're looking for. When you say, "Oh, I need a new X..." they are quick to reply, "Yeah, when you go to the mall, take the escalator on the left side of the Tim Hortons, just past the blind man with a limp, there's a store that sells X." And just like that, your next trip to the mall has become less tedious because you don't have to go on a scavenger hunt looking for X. The wanderer gained some information they didn’t know they needed until they did, all while having a little fun.
Side quests, in the context of mall shopping, involves doing a lot of window shopping that is not related to the main reason for being at the mall in the first place. In recent years, I’ve been thinking about this a lot, not just as it relates to shops, but also in the way I approach life in general. Most of us have a main quest for each phase in our lives. As a teenager or in your early twenties, the main quest is to go to school, get the best grades attainable, and eventually get a good job. As you grow older, it becomes about being the best you can be at what you do, so you can ascend the ranks in your organization while increasing your paycheque. After that, you need to start a family, maintain a family, raise kids, etc. All of these things are fine. However, if you decide to accomplish these things by almost exclusively focusing on just them as the main quest, you could be very successful doing so, but you also stand to miss out on a lot of the beauty in the world. I listened to an episode of Lenny’s Podcast recently that talks a bit about this, and one thing that stuck with me was:
“..Coming alive over getting ahead..”. - Paul Millerd
Side quests, if it's not obvious by now, involves doing things that stray away from what you consider your main identity or focus at whatever stage you are in life. It can also be more niche; it doesn't have to be anything crazy. For example, as a backend software engineer, your day-to-day job includes working with database systems, APIs your service relies on, transforming and making sense of data, infrastructure management, etc. Sometimes that work could get boring, you may feel less inspired by the work, or just stuck. You could go on a side quest to do some frontend engineering work for a change, go see what's new and hip over there, and work with React, Vue, or whatever is considered the coolest frontend framework at the moment. You may come out of that experience appreciating the work you do on the backend more, possibly get inspired, learn a trick or two you could take back and apply to your day-to-day job, or simply just have fun doing something you wouldn’t normally do.
If you zoom out a bit from the context of work when you’re asked the question “Tell me about yourself”, what’s the main theme? “I am a nurse who...”, “I’m a software engineer who...”. Have you tried shifting your focus from the main quest for a bit? Or at least not giving it 100% of your attention? There’s so much out there that you could explore. Have you tried painting? How about kayaking? Have you visited the Swiss Alps? Steph Curry, a 4x NBA champion (The G.O.A.T.), plays competitive golf in his downtime, so surely there’s something to it. There’s a reason people who travel love to travel, apart from the high they get from seeing and experiencing a new culture. They learn one or two things they could bring back to their main quest that adds a bit of colour to their life.
On its face, this may just read like a "Get a hobby" rant. However, it's more about keeping the spirit of exploration alive. When was the last time you took a different path home or to work? Tried a different bubble tea place? Learned something new just for the sake of learning? As Drake said in Own It:
“...when [was]the last time you did something for the first time?..”
Exploration opens your mind to possibilities. It may help you realize that perhaps the current path you're on has come to an end, or it'll make you appreciate things even more, and make life more vibrant and fulfilling. As you grow, you may find that you become more stuck in your ways and less likely to try out new things, so it's a habit you'd have to work hard on if you want to keep it alive.
So, how does a person side quest successfully? I'm still figuring this part out, so you may want to take my thoughts on the matter with a grain of salt. That said, here are some tools I'd have in my backpack before I go side-questing:
Fun: There's no point in making time to do something you don't get some type of joy from. Most people do way better at things they enjoy doing. That being said, you might not know what you like until you try it first. So, don't be afraid to try something new, but also don't be afraid to quit and try something else if it's not for you. Don't get trapped by the sunk cost fallacy.
Small achievable goals: This adds a little extra layer of fun and meaning to the things you explore. For example, you could be interested in trying out a new bubble tea place every weekend, but as an added layer, you could try out the special in each shop and compare which one has the best. Now you have a fun little game or goal you're striving towards that gives your side quest meaning.
Controlled chaos: This is probably the most important. It’s about creating a safe space or threshold within which you are allowed to do or explore whatever you want, without compromising your other responsibilities. It’s about striking a balance between exploration and stability. For example, you could set aside time in a day or week that allows you to pursue something new you’re interested in. Another example is when it relates to finance, you could have a budget per month or week to spend on whatever you want as it relates to your side quest. That way, you don’t feel guilty when you fund them.
So, what should you take away from this? Simple. You can explore as many side quests as you'd like (as long as it’s reasonable), and your main quest generally doesn't care. In some cases, it might enhance how you feel about your main quest. Don't let your inner child die. Go out and explore some sh*t. It doesn't have to be anything crazy. And maybe, just maybe, you’d be adding a little bit of colour and aliveness to your way of living.